Smartly Sexy

sexy strings!

Ya'll betta WORK those invisible strings. Rawr.

So we have in our midst a woman who needs no introduction. A woman who embodies the definition of “foolery” and who continually works to bring ratchet discussion to the forefront of our society. To her, foolery is not just a habit, but it’s a lifestyle. Please, join me in giving a great big fuck you welcome to Cheekie.

Or “sexily smart.” Either way. Choose your own adventure.

One afternoon, I happened to be aimlessly watching an episode of CSI: [insert popular city and/or witty term here] with my sister at her place. There was a particular character who encapsulated the very idea of a “know-it-all.” Like, he knew everything about… um, whatever he was supposed to know about. He deftly spit out jargon in such confidence, it could give you whiplash. My sister turned to me and said, “Ya know, I love dudes that know everything. Dudes who know just… a LOT about what they know. Like, that is so sexy to me.”

And I have to say, I agree with her. That IS sexy. It got me thinking about the different classifications on what makes someone “smart.” And the various labels that are attributed to a smart guy. The most common being, “nerd, geek, and dork.”

Though these are often deemed as interchangeable, they are anything but. Those who truly embrace these labels know the difference. And I have to admit, I find something I like in each one.

Allow me to dissect what I just said. Ya know, get froggy (see what I did over there?):

1. The Nerds. These are the truly intelligent, in the purest form. They know things that are commonly unknown (particularly useful things) and are pretty much the rulers of the world. Sans Oprah, of course. There is something completely irresistible about a guy who knows everything about something I know little to nothing about. Like, for instance, I’m more of an artsy person. Right-brained, yadda yadda yadda. A guy that knows how to logically stimulate my mind? A mathematical master? Swoon city. Yeah, basically I’m saying: Engineers NEED apply. NEED. This intelligence I adore applies to vocabulary as well. As a writer, I’m definitely a logophile (which sounds dirty; and I’m cool with that). So, I especially love when a man teaches me a new word or pronounces one of my favorite words in THAT voice (sidenote: I have a thing for the word, “poignant”, so fellas? Please send all audio files of you reciting that word to pinchmycheekie(at)gmail(dot)com. Merci and whatnot.), which sends me into daydreaming bliss.

2. The Geeks. These are the guys that are intelligent in terms of interests. Hence the term “movie geeks”, “Star Wars geeks”, “music geeks”, etc. What I love about this guy is the passion. Sure, said passion can delve into side-eye territory, but even then, there is something endearing about it. I am a self-proclaimed Disney and Pixar geek (though, I prefer “stan” since I’m dramatic) so I know a little about putting all of yourself into something. Obsessing over random facts, geeking-out (you see, again, what I keep doing there?) over national conventions, proudly showcasing adoration… the list goes on and on, my friends. There isn’t much sexier than a guy being totally enthralled in his interests. Watching a guy excitedly regale me with stories/facts involving his interest o’ choice is a special kind of aphrodisiac.

3. The Dorks. This may arguably be my favorite. Well, not my favorite so much as it holds a special place in my heart. These are the silly, sometimes clumsy and rather awkward guys. Dorkiness is such a loveable quality. I especially appreciate when said dorkiness comes out in snippets; in unsuspecting moments. A seemingly cool guy unpredictably showing his more dorky side is like manna to me. Because I view it as him showing some vulnerability. Some quirkiness. And I love an all-around goofy guy. One of THEE hottest things to me is combining foolery with intelligence. I call it “intelligent ignance.” Remix a ratchet southern rap lyric using Ye Olde English and you have my heart. Basically, dorks get boob hugs. You too-cool-for-school mofos can kick several pet rocks.

Pinchers (or would that be That Damn Africans?), what do you think about nerds, geeks and dorks? Oh my! Male or female, is there anything about these three classifications that appeal to you? And hey, go crazy, add some of the sub-classifications (like “dweeb”) while ya at it.

Whisper that Pythagorean Theorem in my ear, boo-thang.

Love ya like soccer women love to celebrate a win by taking off their shirts,

Cheekie