Why Did I Do That? Part B

You actually came back? Interesting, I didn’t know you were a masochist.

Anywho, welcome to the second installment of the critically-acclaimed* series, “Why Did I Do That?”

In today’s episode, we’ll look at…

Why did I look at the menu while ordering my food even though I knew exactly what I wanted?

So one day I’m in line at McDonald’s for lunch, not because I like McDonald’s but because my body doesn’t tell me what to do, my wallet does. While I’m in line, I peruse the overhead menu and decide to get some sandwiches from the dollar menu because, in case you weren’t paying attention, I do whatever my wallet tells me to do. Once it’s my turn to place my order, I walk up to the register.

Cashier: “Hi. What would you like?”
Me: “Can I have ah…*looks up at the menu*…three McChickens and small fries.”
Cashier: “Will that be all?”
Me: *looks back at the menu* “Yes.”

So, let’s recap. I stand in line. I decide on what to order. I walk up to the register. I look at the menu AGAIN and then place my order. It doesn’t seem that strange or weird I suppose. But, the point of this post is to rant about something minuscule. And it’s your fault for deciding to read this anyway.

So why in the hell did I look back at the menu knowing exactly what I wanted to order and knowing that the menu hadn’t changed in the 2 seconds that it took me to walk up to the register? Well, mostly because it wasn’t my choice. My decision to look up at the menu wasn’t a subconscious one. It’s a reflex. I don’t know why, but I feel like I need to be looking at the menu, as if it’s a menu in Spanish and I want to make sure I’m pronouncing the name correctly (don’t fake like yall don’t point at menu items in foreign restaurants so that the waiter knows what food you want to order in case you’re pronouncing it wrong). It’s not like I usually change my orders or anything. I’ve never found secret discounts on the menu. It’s a complete waste of energy.

But this phenomenon is not isolated to just McDonalds or other fast food restaurants. This is a behavior that I’ve seen done at more respected establishments (i.e. places where you sit down to eat). When I go to places like The Cheesecake Factory, P.F. Chang’s, Fridays, or any other restaurant that bougie ni**as love to frequent, after looking over the menu and deciding what I want, I usually end up reading my order to the waiter. It’s as if I’m that guy from Memento. I mean, how hard is it to remember that you want to order fettucini alfredo and then simply speak the words instead of reading? Hint: it’s not hard.

So I can’t for the life of me understand why I continue to look at menus whilst placing a food order when I don’t need to. Do any of you do this sometimes? Is it because you have anterograde amnesia? Is it because you hate to make eye contact with people? Is it because you don’t know English? Share with the group.

*by “critically-acclaimed” I mean some crackhead at my bus stop mentioned something about liking the Internet and since my blog happens to be on the Internet…..look, i don’t know why you’re even still reading this

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11 thoughts on “Why Did I Do That? Part B

  1. 1) I’m guilty of this especially at the Cheesecake Factory. They have so many options the damn menu looks like a catalogue!

    2) I HATED “Memento”! Every copy of that movie needs to be seized and burned. I’ll bring the matches.

  2. Uuum, okay. I’ve never noticed if I do this or not. This post seems like you knew you had to post something and wrote the first thing that popped in your head. LOL

  3. lmao omg b you hit the nail on the head!!! i admittedly do this all the time. actually, i’ve already begun the process of training myself NOT to do this. i’m about a year into the process (yes, its a SLOW, gradual process lol). i am making a concerted effort to remember what it is i want and verbalize it without the use of visual aids.

    part of the reason i do this at restaurants with a plethora of options (i.e. cheesecake factory) is because i’m in decisive as hell and i feel like something will magically appear in the menu that will instruct me to “PICK THIS”.

    and let’s be honest, part of the reason is because im too lazy to remember. *shrugs* eh, its not like neuroscientists are required to exercise their brains when they’re off the clock.

  4. Dude, I love you for once again pointing out the little things. I definitely do the “point at ish I can’t pronounce” move at restaurants. (OMG, you just gave me a post topic idea indirectly!!!) Sorry about that. Anyway, yes, I do this.

    And let’s make this clear. I’m a masochist because I watch reality shows. Not ‘cuz I read your fabulous blog. I love your writing style, by the way.

    I’ve seen Memento and own it actually. But, my first time seeing it was in a film class and we dissected it to death. It’s definitely not a popcorn movie and it IS frustrating, but I appreciate it in a weird way. lol

  5. Aww man. I can’t say I do that at a restaurant or franchise like Mickey D’s but I do it at CVS. I pass the candy aisle with 88cents candy, already telling myself that I’m gonna pick one up BUT I don’t need it so I’m gonna put it down. So I go to the candy aisle telling myself, “You don’t NEED it Sue, put it down. Put it down.” And I still pick it up. I get to the register with $2.64 worth of candy I DO NOT need (3 bags) and when the cashier asks me if I’m all set, I look down at the bags, pick them em, place em back and say, “Yeah… wait.. *turns around to look at candy I put down* I’m all set.” Something is seriously wrong with me too… Can we make a club?

  6. Kudos on starting a blog bud! (I know I’m a little late but what else is new?) This is funny, and I can definitely picture you and your bald head ranting about this lol. Keep it up 😉

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