I Hope (S)he Cheats

Well damn. That’s harsh.

Yes, yes it is.

Marsha Ambrosius (for those of you who are unfamiliar, she was the lead singer of the duo Floetry (for those of you who are unfamiliar with Floetry, get your head out of your ass & become familiar as soon as humanly possible)) has a new single called “I Hope She Cheats” that lets her express her post-relationship fury with no apologies. It seems that some guy broke her heart, moved on to another chick, and she’s still sour about it. With lines like…

I hope she cheat on you with a basketball player
Hope that she Kim Kardashian’d her way up
Don’t know the difference between a touchdown and a lay up
Gotchu on viagra in order for you to stay up

…it’s obvious she isn’t really in the mood to forgive.

I may sound bitter
I’m a little bitter
Just a little bitter
Because you are with her

No sh*t, Marsha.

Maybe you’ve been through this scenario before. Maybe you haven’t. You’re in a great relationship and for whatever reason, it falls apart. The other person moves on with their life and you’re left alone trying to figure out what went wrong. Not to mention, you’re not over them. Addendum: they’ve already found a new man/woman. I call this the Perfect Storm of a breakup. The fact that they’ve moved on so quickly is made worse because of the fact that you’re not over them AND they’ve already found someone else to be with.

At this point, some people begin blaming themselves for what happened. Maybe I wasn’t handsome/pretty enough for them. Maybe I didn’t give them enough attention. Maybe I didn’t this. Maybe I didn’t that. We beat ourselves up and figure it must have been our fault.

However, some people take the Silky Johnson approach.

"I hope all the bad things in life happen to you, and nobody else, but you."

Karma is a bitch and interestingly enough she’s your new best friend. Well, her and this voodoo doll that you just made. What’s that playing in the background? Oh, your custom iTunes playlist of Payback by James Brown, Bust Your Windows by Jasmine Sullivan, What Goes Around… by Justin Timberlake, and Sh*t, Damn, Motherf**er by D’Angelo. And yes, it’s being looped. You even send a prayer to God to ask that this heartbreaker be forced to feel the same pain that you had to. #justkidding #butnotreally I mean, how could they have ended the relationship like that? You think back to how you gave them so much. You did so much for them. You sacrificed and tolerated so much. And this is what happened.

It’s so hard (that’s what she said) to wish positivity in your ex’s love life while you’re wallowing in your own tears. Hell, it’s hard NOT to wish negativity into their love life. Rejection hurts like mother, but I’ve learned long ago that there is never a wasted moment in life. While your pain pierces at you, you have to look at this moment as a lesson being learned. There are negatives that came out of what you went through and, as tough as it is to see, there are positives as well. Take some time to cry, pout, shout, punch, kick, start, select, and then move forward. Recognize the learning experience that it was and dive head first (not literally) into your next learning experience equipped with the knowledge that you’ve gained from your last experience.

Most importantly, you got to put your behind in your past (c) Pumbaa. Don’t let it gain any more control over you, aka don’t be like Marsha in her song. We learn some of our greatest lessons during our worst times and instead of realizing these lessons, we’re too busy being distracted by our inability to let it go. Granted, we’re all human and feelings of bitterness aren’t avoidable all the time, but try to always see the positive. Everything works out in the end. I truly believe that.

PS: Shout out to Gem cause it’s her birthday! Make sure to visit her inferior blog!



8 thoughts on “I Hope (S)he Cheats

  1. (a) thanks, sorta kinda but not really for the bday/blog shout out. you’re a somewhat caring jerk when you wanna be

    (ii) nice new layout. quirky and fun. like you, i suppose.

    (3) ive never had a feeling of revenge for men who’ve wronged me in a relationship. in fact, im not a vengeful person at all. i cant remember the last time i wished harm or ill will on some one’s life. not even kobe–and i despise him! ive never even kept in touch with old beaus long enough to even know if theyd moved on to another woman, let alone crafting a voodoo doll in the new gf’s likeness. and as much as i over-analyze and over-think things, ive never spent much time considering the after-gem love lives of these men. and its probably for the best. one less thing i cant control to think about. yay me!!

    • 1) i told you, i’m (somewhat) nice on a person’s birthday. JUST on their birthday though.

      2) thanks, i do quite enjoy this layout a lot more than my other one. it was hard to figure out who was replying to what with that one.

      3) that’s great that you’ve never had feelings of revenge or malice, but there are those who will listen to Marsha’s song and yell “i know what you mean, gurl!” i’ve actually had the opposite problem in my past (blaming myself for a relationship failing). regardless, my point was just to take life’s experiences as lessons & chances to grow in yourself & not think of them as regretful experiences. glad you already have this mentality!

      • well, im not gonna lie. occassionally ive felt regret after ending a bad relationship/friendship. constantly hanging on to the what ifs and could i have done something differently. but in the end, i move on. and i am becoming a better person for finding good and peace in ALL situations and knowing everything is for a reason and season.

  2. 1) That Silky Johnson quote just made my morning!

    2) I always look for the lessons in my relationships so I can grow better instead of bitter. It may take a few weeks (or months) for me to get past the hurt but when I do the self-reflection is worth it. I’ve been disappointed more times than I can count but I learned something about myself every time. God’s ways are so mysterious…

    3) I’ve got to check out Marsha’s new song! I’m convinced that she’s on load from the angelic chorus. That girl’s voice is so blessed!

  3. I also love the new layout. I remember wishing this on an ex after we split*. It wasn’t that he had moved on, it was that the girl was nucking futs and would pull out the N word whenever she called to threaten me on my voicemail. She was the primary reason for leaving Portland, as she would harass me at work and figured out where I lived. Yep, she cheated, while pregnant with what he assumes is his kid. tee hee.

    *This hatred really only lasted for about a month and then I was over it.

    • I think it’s only natural to be hurt when a relationship suddenly ends. I can still remember when things ended out of nowhere my senior year in college between my boyfriend and I. Within like a month he was already dating someone else and I couldn’t help but feel angry.

      While it did take a while to get over it, I eventually accepted that everything happens for a reason and I shouldn’t be mad at him. Afterwards he wanted to remain friends but I couldn’t deal, it wasn’t until like 5 years later I finally spoke to him again. Hey you live and you learn.

  4. damn somebody really did marsha wrong huh? and why she gotta bring kim k into this? lol

    i remember my senior year in undergrad i broke up with my ex and admittedly i moved on quite quickly. so quickly in fact that a lot of people thought the reason that i left my old girl was because i wanted to get with my new girl. what people didn’t realize was i wasn’t emotionally invested in our relationship for the longest so the transition was pretty easy. man the hating was something serious. smh

  5. @MsEsquire77
    it always takes a while to get past the hurt, but you’ve got to know how to eventually pick yourself back up. i’m glad you’ve been able to take a lesson out of every one of those experiences. it really helps with putting things in a nice perspective.
    PS: i LOVE Marsha’s voice and think she’s a great artist, but i actually don’t like this song. the production sounds real low budget to me. still looking forward to her album.

    lol oh wow, i’m glad all that girl did was threaten you. there are some crazy people out there. i actually know this girl who stalks joel mchale on twitter. weirdo.

    “While it did take a while to get over it, I eventually accepted that everything happens for a reason and I shouldn’t be mad at him.” that’s the point that we all should get to. i agree that it’s natural to be hurt, upset, and/or mad after a breakup, but eventually we gotta pick ourselves back up. and i don’t blame you for not being able to deal with staying friends. i’m the kind of guy that usually tries to stay friends with exs, but i understand that’s not always gonna work out.

    that’s a tough position to be in and i’m not surprised that there was a lot of animosity towards you. add in the fact that you’re a man and the worst is usually assumed. but you know you made the right decision and i hope that your ex took something positive out of that experience and gained some wisdom as well.

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