Here Lies Chivalry

2Pac Chivalry isn’t dead.

It’s never been dead. Ever. If anything, it’s been mistakenly buried alive.

I don’t care how many assholes you’ve dated. I don’t care how many times you’ve been forced to go dutch. I don’t care how many doors haven’t been opened for you. I don’t care how many times he didn’t stand up for you. It’s never been true and it will never be true. It’s one thing to recognize a decline in the treatment of women in our society as a whole (that’s a whole ‘nother topic and one that can be blamed on actions from BOTH genders) and it’s another to make a completely false statement like “chivalry is dead” and parade it around as if that’s the reason why you’re single you’ve had less than ideal interactions with men.

I almost went off on facebook because of this. My friend put up a status asking when chivalry died. Of course, the status was rich with CAPS to make sure everyone could hear it, a million question marks, and it specifically called out men to give a reason explaining why we purposefully cause her so much pain & suffering answer her question. As someone who has heard this opinion referenced as a scientific fact for years, I should’ve known better than to take the bait. *sigh* Instead, I calmly cosigned a comment (say that five times fast) a male friend of mine had left. It explained that she was probably just dealing with the wrong people. Then, another woman left a comment saying, and I quote, “those “right” people should SHOW THEMSELVES so we know they exist..thank youu.”

Oh, that’s right. I forgot that all the good men out there are, for no reason whatsoever, purposefully hiding from you. How dare they! Men should start wearing huge neon signs that say “Chivalry Here” with an arrow pointing to their penis face. Or let’s create a Chivalrous Men online registry! That way you’ll know how many chivalrous men live in your neighborhood. I mean, if good men would just SHOW THEMSELVES and stop forcing women into the arms of douchebags we wouldn’t have women thinking that chivalry is dead. *facepalm*

The funny thing is that by spreading this false notion around, women do nothing but end up disrespecting the men out there who actually are courteous. I mean, I have to say, as a chivalrous man (or at least I think I am) I always end up feeling very unappreciated whenever this topic comes up. When you say “chivalry is dead” you’re basically dismissing everything that me and men like me have done and continue to do. We get turned into a fairy tale character. A myth. Something that only exists in dreams and Disney movies. Not to mention the fact that you just sound bitter in the process, which isn’t attractive at all. #pointdeduction #staylosing

Having said that, if their outlook on men is that most would never voluntarily open a door for them, then that’s their opinion & they’re entitled to it. I actually feel bad for anyone who believes this. I mean, how does it feel to have no hope? To think to yourself, “Men don’t know how to respect women and treat them right. But at least my cats love me.” That’s gotta be depressing.

Now, I know that there are plenty of jerks out there that cause women to have this mindset and I apologize on their behalf (really, I do), but don’t confuse us with them. That would be unfortunate for you. Having said that, there are plenty of men who also generalize women into negative stereotypes. I don’t excuse that either. However, if you want a discussion on that, one of you independent women can write a blog post about it. I gotta go dig Chivalry out the graveyard again.

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Side note: I do want to thank those women who appreciate and acknowledge the existence of chivalrous men even if their experiences have been far from perfect.

-TDA

QB Controversy?? STFU, Please.

As a diehard Redskins fan, I had to give my two pennies on this here big pile of doo-doo that we’re facing.

Yesterday, while trailing 31-25 with 1:45 left in the fourth quarter, the Redskins began what they hoped was a touchdown drive from their own 30 yard line to win the game. As the offense lined up, I noticed a number 8 jersey standing on the field behind the center. “Wait, that’s where the quarterback usually stands. And Donovan McNabb, the starting quarterback, is number 5, not 8. So who is….oh God. NOOOOOO!!” But it was too late. It took about 3 seconds after the ball was snapped for my all my fears to come true. Pressure. Fumble. Touchdown. Lions. Game. Not the kind of touchdown drive I was hoping for.

Twitter was overrun with cries of outrage. Facebook news feeds drenched with profanity and insults. The Redskins message board nearly imploded on itself. The rivers ran red with blood.

It was an awful decision by a two-time Super Bowl Champion coach. Taking your franchise quarterback out of the game with less than two minutes to go when the game is still in reach in favor of your backup quarterback who hasn’t played a down all season. Not to mention the fact that you’re going to be putting him behind an offensive line that couldn’t block Lindsay Lohan if they tried. Not to mention the fact that your backup quarterback is Rex Grossman. It’s pretty impossible to support this decision no matter how you look at it.

I knew the media was gonna make a huge deal out of this and they have every right to. But there isn’t a quarterback controversy. Mike Shanahan hasn’t lost the team. The DC sports media lives for something negative to say. And to be honest, the Redskins make that EXTREMELY easy. But come on! I think the biggest mistake that people can make is to think that this one decision nullifies Shanahan’s abilities as a coach. Today, Shanahan spoke about the fact that McNabb was not at 100% before the game. Injuries that were sustained in weeks past, including sore hamstrings and a shin contusion, weren’t completely healed. Add in the fact that the offensive line came dressed as turnstiles while McNabb got sacked 6 times, including a couple of times when Casey Rabach tripped McNabb himself (#jesusbeanoffensiveline). So Shanahan felt Rex Grossman, being 100% healthy & not hobbling around, gave us a better shot. It smells like BS, I know. And yes, it was STILL a dumb decision on his part & one that I wouldn’t have made, but how much of that is hindsight? If Rex Grossman had somehow gotten a drive together and won the game, we’d be talking about Shanahan the Genius. He took a risk & it didn’t pay off. It happens.

McNabb had been wildly inaccurate before that & was getting beat up pretty bad. To be honest, I didn’t have any confidence in him getting something together with the offense at that point. Granted, I don’t believe McNabb gives you a worse chance to win ANY game than Rex Grossman, but it’s not my team. Shanahan is the coach. The only problem I really have with the whole thing is Shanahan not admitting that it was a mistake to take McNabb out. At the same time, I respect him for sticking to his guns and not backing down from the decision he made. He supports it and won’t second-guess himself. As a coach, you make a decision and have the confidence that it’s the right one. The funny thing is, if McNabb had stayed in and gone 3-and-out (like he had been doing all game long), or worse, fumbled or thrown a pick (like he did earlier), then I can almost guarantee people would’ve been calling for Grossman to see what he could’ve done sighting McNabb’s inability to do anything for most of the game (and the game against Chicago). That’s the world we live in. Hindsight coaches.

The real question isn’t why Shanahan benched McNabb, cause what’s done is done, but how they’ll get past it. How will the team react to this through the rest of the season? That will be the real test. How does Shanahan get his team motivated and hungry after a devastating loss like that? After benching his franchise quarterback? After all the vitriol and pessimism is released into the air, how will this team react? If we keep winning games, keep fighting, keep improving, and McNabb (for some reason) signs an extension, no one will even remember this happened. The DC sports media will go back to speculating about Albert Haynesworth giving Mike Shanahan the finger when he’s not looking or something. But if we keep losing, and losing ugly, may God be with Mike Shanahan.

-TDA