Time. There’s so much and yet not enough. Ask a man in his 80’s the things that come to mind when he hears the word “time” and he’ll give you a completely different answer than a 6-year-old. It’s all relative.
It’s this relativity that we sometimes forget when trying to understand the difference in how men and women approach dating and relationships. Men feel like they have plenty of time while women feel forced to run the two-minute drill.
For those of you who might not understand what a “two-minute drill” (also referred to as the “no-huddle”) is, it is a style of offense used in football to “maximize the number of plays available for a scoring attempt before a half (or game) expires.” For example, instead of wasting time calling a play in the huddle, the QB will call a play at the line of scrimmage while his offense is lining up in order to conserve time. The key point in this is that the offense is running out of time and is forced to hurry in order to win the game before time runs out.
Women are often worried about when they will find that man to settle down and cultivate a long-lasting marriage with. Men, on the other hand, are worried about who they will be with. This isn’t to say women don’t care who they date or marry. However, by and large, women who complain about being single or about the “good man shortage” believe they are disappointed that they haven’t found a man to settle down with, but in reality are disappointed that they haven’t found a man to settle down with yet. They aren’t upset that they are single, but they are upset that they are still single.
This belief that their window of opportunity is closing causes some women to feel that they need to run a two-minute drill. They go to bars, clubs, weddings, bar mitzvahs, and funerals. They try speed dates, blind dates, skype dates, and GChat dates. They introduce themselves to men, wait for men to introduce themselves, chase, and play hard to get. All in the same week. These are the kind of women who, if they were down by one touchdown to the Detroit Lions, would bench Donovan McNabb & send out Rex Grossman (it’s a good thing we don’t have to worry about that ever happening). At this point, they’re either looking to try anything to win the game or have given up hope. But, I feel like they might just be reading the game clock wrong. They’re still in the 3rd quarter and either don’t realize it or willfully ignore it. Pump your brakes, homie. It’s not time to panic. Stop automatically thinking that something must be wrong (either with you or with men) because you haven’t found a man yet. Maybe you haven’t found a man yet simply because you haven’t found a man yet. (I just blessed someone with that right there.)
And don’t take my analogy as suggesting that men believe they are “leading” their respective football games. Since being single isn’t an end goal for most us, we understand that we are actually losing too. But we also know we haven’t lost1. I’m of the belief that men want to settle down just as much as women. But we’re going to take our time to find that special woman. Not because we love being single, but because it’s not something that needs to be rushed. No need to run the two-minute drill. Just continue to execute well, take what the defense gives you while taking some shots down the field, and make the necessary adjustments to give yourself the best opportunity to win the game.
So what do yall think? Women, is there truth to what I’m saying or am I erroneously disregarding the elephant in the room (your biological clock)? Men, do you ever feel like time is running out and you need to run a “two-minute drill” or is it safe to say it’s something specific to women? Speak now or forever hold your peace.
1 No, being single doesn’t mean you’ve lost at life. It just means that if your goal is to settle down, get married, and the such, then you haven’t reached that goal.