You Deserve Rebecca Black

Now that we’re done with Charlie Sheen, we have another train wreck to focus on. Her name is Rebecca Black. She’s here to chew bubble gum, sing about what days occur on the weekend, and offend auditory nerve fibers everywhere. And she’s all out of bubble gum.

Now, let me start out by saying that if you haven’t heard her song or seen her music video for it, don’t. But since you’re going to, check out here and get Cheekie’s commentary about the video for no extra charge (offer not valid in Alaska). While people all over the internet are calling it the worst song ever, I tend to disagree. Don’t get me wrong, it’s awful, but I’ve heard enough music in my life to know it’s not even close to the worst. It’s not close to the level of Bangs “Take U To Da Movies”, a personal favorite of mine. And I don’t like exaggeration unless it’s used in a well delivered joke. But I’m not here to discuss how bad it is. What I want to talk about is someone’s defense of Rebecca’s song.

Like I said, the internet erupted with shouts of malice at Rebecca when her video was released. And while she is entitled to put out music and do what she loves to do, the public is entitled to defend their temporal cortex from attacks such as this. However, at least one brave soul decided that Rebecca Black’s foray into music didn’t deserve the title of “worst song ever.” A Yahoo contributor by the name of S. Maven wrote an article called Is Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’ Really a Musical Abomination? Kudos to you, S. Maven, for not sitting idly by while anonymous cowards proceeded to rain down blows upon Rebecca’s hopes and dreams. Let’s see what she had to say.

Some commenters are complaining about “Friday’s” silly, repetitive lyrics. If SingStar and Guitar Hero taught us anything, it is that many beloved, popular songs have repetitive or silly lyrics masked by a catchy beat or chorus.

The Black Eyed Peas’ songs are repetitive and “I Gotta Feeling” actually lists all seven days of the week. The song reached number one on Billboard’s Top 100.

Okay. Well, it is true that other songs have silly, repetitive lyrics that go on to be classic and fun songs. I don’t like the current Black Eyed Peas and “I Gotta Feeling” brings about great vengeance and furious anger whenever I hear it, but the song did reach number one. I guess if one shitty song can make it to number one, why can’t another?

Although her natural singing voice is questionable, “Real Housewives” star Kim Zolciak managed to deliver a dance song with lyrics cautioning everyone not to be tardy for the party. It sounds like an awkward phrase straight out of a rhyme-obsessed third grader’s mouth, but the dance beat compensated for the lyrics.

I laughed at the “rhyme-obsessed third grader” comment, mainly cause it’s true. “Tardy For The Party” is a great example of mediocre vocals with mildly retarded lyrics covered in an infectious dance beat. In fact, now that I listen to it, Rebecca Black’s “Friday” is pretty much a “Tardy For The Party” for middle-school children. Hmmm, what else…

Chart toppers can quickly become amazingly annoying. Remember the Baha Men hit “Who Let the Dogs Out?” In 2000, that song rose to number 18 on Billboard’s pop charts. The tune got heavy rotation on radio stations and at public events.

Oh yeah, I remember “Who Let The Dogs Out”! Not a great song, but very catchy and fun to listen to. At least it was the first 100 times they played on the radio….in the span of 2 days. That song definitely got annoying after a few months of saturation. Unfortunately, radio stations, movies, TV commercials, and DJs wouldn’t let us forget about it. But I don’t really understand S. Maven’s connection. “Who Let The Dogs Out” was a decent song AND THEN became highly annoying, in my opinion. Rebecca’s song is already annoying. But I guess if Ke$ha’s annoying ass can make hit songs, why can’t Rebecca?

Anyway, while Rebecca’s song is one that will certainly anger the music gods, it’s not too different from the other top hits that we hear being whored out on the radio, in clubs, and on ringtones. My point? People can lash out at her and the song all they want, but this generation of music consumers deserve this song.

-TDA

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Rooting For The Home Team

Those of you who know me know I’m an extremely passionate Redskins fan. That’s my team through thick and thin. I grew up in Maryland right outside of DC. I love them because I love DC and they play for DC. It’s that simple. To me, you always root for the home team. That’s just my sports fan philosophy. I have several friends who grew up and still reside in the DC area who root for other teams. I don’t hold animosity towards them (unless they’re Cowboys fans, who can die) because as long as they’re not bandwagon fans, I respect them for having a passion for their team. However, I do feel disappointed that they decided to join a team that isn’t from their hometown.

I remember reading a post not too long ago from TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld at The Lower Frequency on loving black women (please go read it if you haven’t). It was a post that really resonated with me. I found myself agreeing with a lot of his viewpoints on not only why he loves black women, but why he prefers black women. It reminded me of my “rooting for the home team” sports philosophy. The reason I bring that up is because the other day while I was walking to lab, I saw this young black woman walking on the other side of the street. She caught my eye for some reason. She was very pretty, but that wasn’t what caught my attention. She was walking down the sidewalk playful giggling, touching, and walking with a white dude. I wasn’t even aware I was staring, but I was. It surprised me because I can’t remember having done that before. I wasn’t mad at what I had seen. I didn’t feel that this white man had taken another one of our sistas from us. But for some reason, seeing that resonated with me. I felt……disappointment. Not disappointment that she was with a white guy (which to be honest, was an assumption on my part). Disappointment that she wasn’t with a black guy.

There’s this idea that black women are the only ones who think about interracial dating in this way. They side-eye, scoff, and scream when black men grab some plain vanilla loving. But, at least in my personal experience, that isn’t isolated to black women. Black men feel the same way in regards to black women, but just aren’t as animated in their responses. The reason why black men feel this way is usually some combination of these reasons:

  1. Black men are territorial
    As if this was a surprise. Yes, there are plenty of fish in the sea, especially when it comes to eligible black women, but this doesn’t change the fact that hundreds of years of having things taken from us has put us a little on edge. We may not express this in the same way that black women do (ranting and raving with their arms flailing about), but we do feel it.
  2. Black men love black love
    Black love brings a special smile to our faces that few things can. There’s a pride that we feel when we see a happy, strong black couple because ultimately that’s what we want for us. And yes, I’m aware of the notion that black men are running in droves to be with the “pure” white women, but trust me, that is a vocal minority, if not a flat out lie. Most black men want everything to do with black women.
  3. White men are the devil
    I’m just saying.

So what do yall think? All my black men out there, am I right or completely off base? Do you tend to get a bit disappointed when you see a sista with a man of another race or are you completely colorblind when it comes to love? Ladies, were you aware that men harbor this kind of reaction? Am I just a closeted racist? Do tell.

-TDA

*I can pretty much relate anything in life back to football.