You Deserve Rebecca Black

Now that we’re done with Charlie Sheen, we have another train wreck to focus on. Her name is Rebecca Black. She’s here to chew bubble gum, sing about what days occur on the weekend, and offend auditory nerve fibers everywhere. And she’s all out of bubble gum.

Now, let me start out by saying that if you haven’t heard her song or seen her music video for it, don’t. But since you’re going to, check out here and get Cheekie’s commentary about the video for no extra charge (offer not valid in Alaska). While people all over the internet are calling it the worst song ever, I tend to disagree. Don’t get me wrong, it’s awful, but I’ve heard enough music in my life to know it’s not even close to the worst. It’s not close to the level of Bangs “Take U To Da Movies”, a personal favorite of mine. And I don’t like exaggeration unless it’s used in a well delivered joke. But I’m not here to discuss how bad it is. What I want to talk about is someone’s defense of Rebecca’s song.

Like I said, the internet erupted with shouts of malice at Rebecca when her video was released. And while she is entitled to put out music and do what she loves to do, the public is entitled to defend their temporal cortex from attacks such as this. However, at least one brave soul decided that Rebecca Black’s foray into music didn’t deserve the title of “worst song ever.” A Yahoo contributor by the name of S. Maven wrote an article called Is Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’ Really a Musical Abomination? Kudos to you, S. Maven, for not sitting idly by while anonymous cowards proceeded to rain down blows upon Rebecca’s hopes and dreams. Let’s see what she had to say.

Some commenters are complaining about “Friday’s” silly, repetitive lyrics. If SingStar and Guitar Hero taught us anything, it is that many beloved, popular songs have repetitive or silly lyrics masked by a catchy beat or chorus.

The Black Eyed Peas’ songs are repetitive and “I Gotta Feeling” actually lists all seven days of the week. The song reached number one on Billboard’s Top 100.

Okay. Well, it is true that other songs have silly, repetitive lyrics that go on to be classic and fun songs. I don’t like the current Black Eyed Peas and “I Gotta Feeling” brings about great vengeance and furious anger whenever I hear it, but the song did reach number one. I guess if one shitty song can make it to number one, why can’t another?

Although her natural singing voice is questionable, “Real Housewives” star Kim Zolciak managed to deliver a dance song with lyrics cautioning everyone not to be tardy for the party. It sounds like an awkward phrase straight out of a rhyme-obsessed third grader’s mouth, but the dance beat compensated for the lyrics.

I laughed at the “rhyme-obsessed third grader” comment, mainly cause it’s true. “Tardy For The Party” is a great example of mediocre vocals with mildly retarded lyrics covered in an infectious dance beat. In fact, now that I listen to it, Rebecca Black’s “Friday” is pretty much a “Tardy For The Party” for middle-school children. Hmmm, what else…

Chart toppers can quickly become amazingly annoying. Remember the Baha Men hit “Who Let the Dogs Out?” In 2000, that song rose to number 18 on Billboard’s pop charts. The tune got heavy rotation on radio stations and at public events.

Oh yeah, I remember “Who Let The Dogs Out”! Not a great song, but very catchy and fun to listen to. At least it was the first 100 times they played on the radio….in the span of 2 days. That song definitely got annoying after a few months of saturation. Unfortunately, radio stations, movies, TV commercials, and DJs wouldn’t let us forget about it. But I don’t really understand S. Maven’s connection. “Who Let The Dogs Out” was a decent song AND THEN became highly annoying, in my opinion. Rebecca’s song is already annoying. But I guess if Ke$ha’s annoying ass can make hit songs, why can’t Rebecca?

Anyway, while Rebecca’s song is one that will certainly anger the music gods, it’s not too different from the other top hits that we hear being whored out on the radio, in clubs, and on ringtones. My point? People can lash out at her and the song all they want, but this generation of music consumers deserve this song.



7 thoughts on “You Deserve Rebecca Black

  1. The difference between this song and the songs mentioned above is the beat. This song is just bad from beginning to end. I mean, the vocals are bad, the beat, bad. To make it worse, sometimes, when an individual doesn’t quite like a song, the video tends to sway them one way or another…the video, BAD. It’s just…a BAD experience.

    However, I’m pretty excited that I know what days I can look forward to after Friday.

    • Yeah, I agree, but that’s actually the kind of cheesy, annoying beat you’d expect from a 13-year-old “singer”. And I’m sure the Disney Channel has sold thousands of records of a similar caliber.

      I’m with you, my calendar be confusing sometimes, so now I just go to Rebecca. Damn, what’s tomorrow again?

  2. Ummm…There’s a missing element in this article: where’s the football analogy? LOL. Nah, I kid. But yes, you are totally correct about the fact that “this generation of music consumers deserve this song”…Sad, but true.

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