With Friends Like That…

I remember seeing Kevin Hart’s I’m A Grown Little Man for the first time and being unable to control my laughter damn near the entire time (I still think I’m A Grown Little Man is funnier than Seriously Funny). I was literally crying during the ostrich story. One of his stories in particular caught my attention though.

“I’m good at seeing things. I’m good at noticing things. Like, I remember one of my friends got jumped one time. And I was with him. I ran. The reason why I ran is because I saw it coming.”
— Kevin Hart

In high school, I was walking with a teammate to soccer practice one day. He was an annoying kid who I didn’t talk to much, but for some reason he wanted to walk with me that day. As we were walking to the field, I noticed a group of guys who were about to walk past us. After a couple of seconds, I realized that they weren’t walking past us, but walking toward us. My spider sense and the Force went off and I immediately knew what was about to go down. Everything went into slow motion. Ominous music started to play like it does in movies when something bad is about to happen. It was clear to me that these dudes were going to jump him. It also became clear why he wanted to walk to practice with me: he was hoping that either these dudes wouldn’t jump him cause I was there or that I’d have his back and help him out if it came to blows. Uhhh…

The guys started to surrounded us, but I just kept my pace. I didn’t stop walking and I didn’t say one word. I knew that it wasn’t me who they were after and I didn’t want to give them a reason, so I thought that if I acted like I didn’t see them that it would convince them that I was a figment of their imagination or something. Jedi mind trick game proper. I ended up walking right through the crowd and none of the dudes even cared. #MissionAccomplished Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t just go to soccer practice and was like “Oh nah, I haven’t seen [teammate’s name] today. Not sure what happened to him. *juggles soccer ball on foot*” I went to the practice field as quickly as I could & told my coach what happened. Him, along with me and a few teammates, walked over to where I had left my teammate for dead, but by then it was over (don’t worry, he didn’t have any serious injuries).

My decision to not get involved was 100% selfish and 100% right. It was based on self preservation and I’m all about preserving self. Some might see it as a punk move, but I don’t think it was. Let’s review the facts, shall we? And the church said “Amen.”

  1. We weren’t friends. Not only that, but he was hella annoying, so part of me thought that he might have deserved the jumping. I’m not throwing down fisticuffs with you on some Batman and Robin type steez and risking my life unless you’re cool with me. He wasn’t. *shrug*
  2. There were like 6 of them. It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to know that unless you live in a movie, 6 against 2 are not good odds. However, I knew that I had a 100% chance of survival if I ran away like a little bitch left. Survey says….
  3. You know how I’m short and skinny? Well, I was shorter and skinnier in high school. My fighting experience was limited to sparring sessions while learning Tae Kwon Do, but a) that crap doesn’t work in a street fight where bammas might have knives or guns and e) getting my black belt taught me when to fight and when NOT to fight. You can guess how I categorized this situation.
  4. I didn’t have any semblance of gangsta in need of preserving. My reputation was sustained.

I felt real shitty afterwards though. It wasn’t a proud moment for me at all and it took me a little while to shake the guilt of abandoning someone like that. But at the same time, damn that. Sometimes you gotta know when to save yourself.

What do yall think? Have any of you ever ran out on someone you knew was about to get jumped? Ever see a jumping about to happen and get your Kick-Ass on? Hell, lets put it out there. Have you ever jumped someone before?



17 thoughts on “With Friends Like That…

  1. None of this has ever happened to me. Fights have been averted but the extreme 6 to 2 ratio was never in play. It sounds like your boy has the talent of pissing folks off.

    As far as getting my Kick Ass on there are a few people I’d like to touch but I tend to let good sense govern my actions. I’ve never jumped anyone either TDA. Overwhelming force rocks (#powelldoctrineproper) but not on the school yard or anywhere else. Things always escalate and people get hurt to seriously.

    • “Things always escalate and people get hurt to seriously.”

      Yup, some people don’t just knock you down, they knock you down and make sure you don’t get back up. There are few moments where that’s worth it and this wasn’t one of them.

  2. How is this the first time I heard of this story and we went to HS together? Its hilarious but not because homie got beat up (even though it would make a good scene in a comedy movie).

    I would have done the same thing (*waves hand* I am not the person your trying to beat up”).

    Its a classic case of flight or fight and you flew away quick as hell lol.

  3. i never ran out on a jumping but i have gotten my kick ass on… its hard to imagine… i grow up in a upper middle class neighborhood in long island… and i was quiet and in the orchestra but i take a fierce stance on the “underdog” my close friend A was not liked but some ugly chicks because one of their boyfriends kept trying to kick it to A (typical high school crap) and one day walking home… we were the original fab 5 best friends from elementary school they approached. as quiet as i was i immediately got BOUT IT, stepping up and demanding that if any fighting was going to go down it would be 1-on-1. they listened and A got her ass waxed. fast forward next day it happened again. then the day after she came back again. i had, had enough. i had never been in a fight before but this made no sense. how many times are you going to beat her up. so it starts but this time i was like nah it’s not going down like that… me and another friend jumped in and i just began hitting with all my might. i didn’t even know how to make a fist, i had my thumb inside my hand. thank god i was taller than that chick so i instead was punching her about the head face and neck. the police were called, the school got involved, parents came and conferences were held. but they didn’t mess with us anymore… i was proud because i stood up for what i believed in which was no need for excessive abuse and the underdog needs support. today i am still a champion for the underdog! i don’t get bout it the same but if push comes to shove maybe i can. ⚠ sent out to bullies

    • Niiiiice! I’m imagining you giving rules like a referee “Only two people in the fight. No hitting below the belt. No biting or scratching. Hair pulling is acceptable.”

      That was a good story though. You gotta be there for your close friends. I’ve never been around my friends when they’ve been in a fight, but I’ll throw bows for my homies if they’re in trouble.

  4. This story. Sounds like something you would run away from. You don’t strike me as the fighting type. But that was wrong of you to do. Survival instincts would have told me to do it too but that was OD. lol

  5. Know how I know you’re a nerd? “My spider sense and the Force went off ” LOL, this had me crackin up. But spider sense, though? I thought it was spidey sense. *shrug*

    Man, I’ve never had to deal with physical violence at all, besides a few overly competitive moments on the basketball court. Your reasons seem sound to me. Dude wasn’t even your friend. I’d tell my kids to do the same thing. Get help. No need for all of us to suffer. #ThrowDownYourWallet

    • I don’t think Spiderman ever refers to it as his “spidey sense,” but I know that people do call it that sometimes so it’s acceptable. However, the preferred nomenclature is “spider sense.” #NerdSwag

      Right. Sometimes risking your safety isn’t worth your pride.

  6. Wow. That was low. Lower than your height.


    I’ve never been in a fight in my life. Knocked this annoying guy in the nose for constantly teasing me, doe. It bled. I didn’t get in trouble. Know how? No record. I was the kneegrow getting A’s in Good Conduct. Swag.

    Anyway, I seriously feel on the conflicting feelings. While, you were totally justified on hitting your every-man-for-himself dougie (since you weren’t cool with him), just basic humanity makes you at least feel a teensy weensy bad.

    Then again, I have yet to find evidence that you’re human. SHOW ME THE RECEIPTS!

    • “Anyway, I seriously feel on the conflicting feelings. While, you were totally justified on hitting your every-man-for-himself dougie (since you weren’t cool with him), just basic humanity makes you at least feel a teensy weensy bad.”

      Right, I felt bad leaving him like that, buuuuuuuuut live to fight another day n’ shit.

      “I have yet to find evidence that you’re human. SHOW ME THE RECEIPTS!”

      They’re with Osama’s dead pictures. I think there are a couple of links on Facebook you should visit.

      • “I have yet to find evidence that you’re human. SHOW ME THE RECEIPTS!”

        Ninjas are questioning humainity now? I guess that makes sense seeing that I don’t really exist. I’m just a PCP induced figment of y’all imaginations.

  7. ive never been in a fight so i cant relate. but i agree with your b*tch selfish move to keep moving AND tell an adult (very smart, little one).

    if i had been in a similar situation and opened myself up to a beat down that never should have involved me in the first place, i’d have faced ANOTHER beat down from my dad. and considering that i was very vain and a goody goody, there was no way in HELL id jeopardize my good name for some nobody i didnt even like. hmph, no way, jose.

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