I remember seeing Kevin Hart’s I’m A Grown Little Man for the first time and being unable to control my laughter damn near the entire time (I still think I’m A Grown Little Man is funnier than Seriously Funny). I was literally crying during the ostrich story. One of his stories in particular caught my attention though.
“I’m good at seeing things. I’m good at noticing things. Like, I remember one of my friends got jumped one time. And I was with him. I ran. The reason why I ran is because I saw it coming.”
— Kevin Hart
In high school, I was walking with a teammate to soccer practice one day. He was an annoying kid who I didn’t talk to much, but for some reason he wanted to walk with me that day. As we were walking to the field, I noticed a group of guys who were about to walk past us. After a couple of seconds, I realized that they weren’t walking past us, but walking toward us. My spider sense and the Force went off and I immediately knew what was about to go down. Everything went into slow motion. Ominous music started to play like it does in movies when something bad is about to happen. It was clear to me that these dudes were going to jump him. It also became clear why he wanted to walk to practice with me: he was hoping that either these dudes wouldn’t jump him cause I was there or that I’d have his back and help him out if it came to blows. Uhhh…
The guys started to surrounded us, but I just kept my pace. I didn’t stop walking and I didn’t say one word. I knew that it wasn’t me who they were after and I didn’t want to give them a reason, so I thought that if I acted like I didn’t see them that it would convince them that I was a figment of their imagination or something. Jedi mind trick game proper. I ended up walking right through the crowd and none of the dudes even cared. #MissionAccomplished Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t just go to soccer practice and was like “Oh nah, I haven’t seen [teammate’s name] today. Not sure what happened to him. *juggles soccer ball on foot*” I went to the practice field as quickly as I could & told my coach what happened. Him, along with me and a few teammates, walked over to where I had left my teammate for dead, but by then it was over (don’t worry, he didn’t have any serious injuries).
My decision to not get involved was 100% selfish and 100% right. It was based on self preservation and I’m all about preserving self. Some might see it as a punk move, but I don’t think it was. Let’s review the facts, shall we? And the church said “Amen.”
- We weren’t friends. Not only that, but he was hella annoying, so part of me thought that he might have deserved the jumping. I’m not throwing down fisticuffs with you on some Batman and Robin type steez and risking my life unless you’re cool with me. He wasn’t. *shrug*
- There were like 6 of them. It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to know that unless you live in a movie, 6 against 2 are not good odds. However, I knew that I had a 100% chance of survival if I
ran away like a little bitchleft. Survey says….
- You know how I’m short and skinny? Well, I was shorter and skinnier in high school. My fighting experience was limited to sparring sessions while learning Tae Kwon Do, but a) that crap doesn’t work in a street fight where bammas might have knives or guns and e) getting my black belt taught me when to fight and when NOT to fight. You can guess how I categorized this situation.
- I didn’t have any semblance of gangsta in need of preserving. My reputation was sustained.
I felt real shitty afterwards though. It wasn’t a proud moment for me at all and it took me a little while to shake the guilt of abandoning someone like that. But at the same time, damn that. Sometimes you gotta know when to save yourself.
What do yall think? Have any of you ever ran out on someone you knew was about to get jumped? Ever see a jumping about to happen and get your Kick-Ass on? Hell, lets put it out there. Have you ever jumped someone before?