"See, honey, I told you everything would fit."

Not the fudge nor Green Bay variety.

I’ve lived in Pittsburgh for two years and during those two years I’ve lived in the same apartment. It’s treated me well and I’ve had some great memories here. Alas, every good thing must come to an end and I will be moving to my new apartment tomorrow. Why the move? I was paying much more for rent than I should be to live in Pittsburgh. Money talks. Anyway, as I was packing my belongings last night, I started talking to Suki on GChat. I was talking her about having to put together a plan of attack for moving my stuff in an efficient way onto my friend’s pickup when she gave me this little gem:

Suki: maybe u just need a woman to help u. guys SUCK at packing

Really? I immediately admitted that women are, in my opinion, better at packing luggage than men are. But loading up a car? Nope. I don’t buy that for a second. So I took it to twitter and most people seemed to agree with me. (Disclaimer: I’m not saying that men don’t know how to properly pack luggage nor am I saying that women don’t know how to properly load a car. However, women seem to be better than men and men seem to be better than women in those situations, respectively.)

Women have a way with luggage that most men are just not able to duplicate. Every luggage bag that a woman packs contains 3 closets and 2 bathrooms in them. Either every woman’s luggage bag is also a doorway to Narnia or they’re really good at packing. I actually envy women for their skill. The only reason women take more than one luggage bag with them on a trip is that they have about 12 closets worth of clothes in their houses, which requires them to pack heavy if they want “options”. Men seem like they know how to pack luggage, but that’s because we only have to pack 5 items for a week-long trip. In reality, we usually just throw things in a bag, sometimes haphazardly. There isn’t really any blueprint to how we pack. We just kinda shove stuff in there because space is never really an issue. And if we need more room we press down on the items in the bag with our hands/feet/ass/child to try to flatten everything. That seems to work fine most of the time. Hell, that’s how I’m currently packing all these boxes for my move.

On the other hand, loading a car seems to be a different story. Men take items that need to be loaded into a car and all of sudden it’s a game of Tetris (relevant Simpsons reference). You can literally see men working out geometric equations in their mind while they do this. And no space is too small to fit something in (pause). I feel like women are a bit more cautious about breaking something (either the cargo or the car) when they try to load a car. Most of the time, men don’t believe anything will break. Because of that, we’ll use spaces that would otherwise be ignored. “See that 4 inch gap between the crockpot and the guitar amp? Yeah, that’s where the flat screen will go.” And somehow it ends up fitting.

But maybe I’m wrong. What do you guys think?



6 thoughts on “Packers

  1. ”See that 4 inch gap between the crockpot and the guitar amp? Yeah, that’s where the flat screen will go.”

    ….aaaand upon arrival, you discover that the LCD screen on the tv is cracked, and there’s shards of crockpot in your amp. Frustration ensues. I’ve seen it a million times….LOL

  2. I have seen this in real time when traveling with two guy friends who had drove to Ohio to buy fireworks. They bought so many that even they couldn’t fit comfortably back in the car, much less me who they were picking up on there way to DC. I stood back and watched these men use every available space to the ceiling in packing these fireworks, my suitcase and me back in to this SUV. It was very impressive. Dangerous, but impressive.

    With that being said, I agree with Ivy St. Women do everything better…no logic to defend that one, just cuz

  3. BETTER NOT be the Green Bay variety. Oh, still salty. Moving on…

    Yo, my trip to Toronto can attest. I am FABULOUS at packing. And it’s not like I’ve been much of anywhere for a long(ish) period of time… I just make the most use of my space. Especially since bag-check fees are NO game (when I’m not flying Soufwest, which is rare) so you have to learn the hard way. I fit all my Cancun ish in my little carry-on and I stayed there a week. Used the same bag for Caribana weekend and all the ladies were aghast as to how I did it. And I did it well. We changed clothes (annnnd go!) multiple times throughout the day and I STILL had one dress left that I didn’t wear. POW. So yes, you need women (or me) in your life to teach ya how to pack. Then how to dougie afterwards since you don’t know how.

    Oh, and that Simpsons Tetris reference gave me SO much life. One of my favorite clips. Had me ROLLING. Especially when he put Bart inside?! *dies*

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